DAMN NEAR OBSESSED

Today was hands down one of thee most stressful days Ive had in awhile. 🙄

I threw my phone due to frustrations with my business partner and the screen shattered. 🙄🙄

Im behind on a lot of homework because I don't have enough money to pay for my books. 🙄🙄🙄

On top of all of that, stupid ass racist fucking people have so much to say into the subconscious realm.

They won't ever say anything out loud but have the most to say indirectly hidden in plain conversation.

My astronomy teacher is probably the fucking worst. He's a square headed jack ass who loves to pick and pry at every fucking move I make. Him and the people in my classes are damn near obsessed. It's extremely annoying to deal with real-life problems and then that shit as well. I'm over it. What really makes it even more aggravating is that I'm terrible at hiding my true emotions. I'm not the one who can smile and sit pretty in a room with bullshit occurring. Im not the passive type and will never be. Jessica will always speak up when necessary and not for a moment else. The hate-filled energy circulating our planet is disgusting and quite frankly, truly becoming an issue. What the fuck is the problem? Why cant we all just get along? Coexistence is possible!!

People are so caught up on the exterior bullshit they were taught to value and deep down are truly, under all the superficial shit are yearning for something with truth and substance. THATS why people attach themselves to ideas and groups who have a "common goal or interest." They lack substance, they lack passion, they lack desire. So instead of being a decent fucking human and doing some SELF-EVALUATION or creating themselves, they attach themselves to groups who are fueled by people with passion and desire, so that they may be around that energy, even if the group itself is toxic, inhumane and negative. People are genuinely good, but will give up good for bad in order to be satisfied, even if its temporary. Im at my wick's end and no longer have time for the petty shit. How the fuck do you get a kick out of someone else's demise? How? Im 100% sure that I have 0% patience and tolerance for anything negative. If it does not serve my greatest good, its not for me. I pray that God keeps all of that energy away from my being. From here on out, if the energy is off, I'm out.

I know my role and I will stay within in it, no matter how hard or long I'm provoked otherwise. If I lose my shit, the world will go bonkers. I make a conscious choice not to put that kind of energy into the world because I don't want that energy to be manifested or reciprocated. I think in terms of the future and effects. Unlike my peers, I am equipped with the understanding of my power. I have been blessed with the knowledge my ancient ancestors honed in on and used for the greater good. I am one with the universe and will not be sucked into that bloodthirsty, shallow-minded, closed thinking or actions. I am my own person and how I treat others is a direct reflection of how i feel about myself and my world. I love myself and I love the world for the most part. Allowing others tot disturb my peace is impossible if I stay aware and motivated by positive thinking.

Just like today, I walked out of my astronomy class because if I didn't, it wouldn't have been pretty. I cannot put myself around people or groups that act and think in such a way. That energy, like all energy is contagious and vile. I came home today and I was extremely angry. I fell asleep and still woke up, drenched in anger. It wasn't until I cleaned my room and took a long bath in Epsom salt and Lavender bubble soap, that I began to feel better. Writing here is pretty therapeutic as well. I feel better, sort of. I'm about to take a nap and get caught up on work in a minute. Hold it down. Thanks for reading.